I’m still tired. Less so than yesterday, but not feeling like me. Or caffeinated me. Or ‘roided up me. Though I am definitely short of both temper and stature today. Still, I managed to accomplish a few things. I got The Girl off to camp, went to the grocery store, did the daily jigsaw puzzle on my iPad, picked up the girl from camp, got her iPhone (my old, inactive phone) finally able to text (only myself and her father for now), commanded her to shower (she did), and dropped her off at Grandma Ce’s for BBQ dinner. Hubs will be there too and will bring her home. I’m just not up for socializing in a big group.
Got myself some egg roll and kung pao chicken on my way home. I hope it tastes better tomorrow. I always get a couple of days where I lose part of my sense of taste. But, the odd thing is that it’s not just taste, but sensation too. It’s like my mouth feels coated in something just thin enough to interfere with culinary enjoyment. I can’t even feel the bubbles in my Pepsi. I can taste sweet (though it’s dulled), but not a lot in the way of savory. It’s really odd.
I have to say, after yesterday’s pit of exhaustion, I’m finally ready to say that I’m looking forward to the end of this. In the beginning, peeps were all, “Hey – 1 down. Only 5 to go!” Sounds encouraging, but I knew it was a long haul and just couldn’t think in terms of countdowns without getting antsy. Now, I’m thinking about the fact that it’s 5 down, one to go, and I’m as antsy as can be. I can’t wait to get back to feeling like me, hitting the gym, running errands without worrying about it being too taxing… all of it. Plus, I have a 10th anniversary to celebrate with my husband (it’s July 23rd, but we will postpone shenanigans until I’m up to it, probably sometime in August), as well as some long awaited travel plans.
Today, I had a kindred spirit moment. Walking through the grocery store, I saw a woman wearing a bright blue bandana, with the telltale prednisone hump at the top of her shoulders. I said, “Excuse me, but can I give you a high five?” We did, discussed our cancers (we’re both looking at our last chemo treatments, though she still has breast surgery and radiation to go). We talked about me being “brave” enough to go out full-baldy, but I pointed out that it’s just too hot. Meanwhile, I had my face on, and she was makeup free. We all have our things. Happily, we both have good outcomes ahead of us. And happily, that’s the case more and more often with cancer. But, I also recently learned of an acquaintance whose husband is now entering hospice care. So, with that, I’m going to count my blessings (shout out to Shelley for getting my knives sharpened), and as always, FUCK CANCER!
Original Comments from the CaringBridge Blog:
—Michelle Johnson, July 10, 2015
You are an inspiration and are kicking cancer’s ass!
—Sarah Alzamora, July 10, 2015
The final stretch!
—Susan Rosenthal, July 10, 2015
When is your official last treatment? You’re amazing Deb with all you’ve been through and staying SO strong!! I admire you SO very much!! Thinking abt you all the time and looking forward to hearing abt your adventures once you’re feeling 100%
—Vanessa Schenk, July 10, 2015
You’re amazing, Deb. Love you!
—Lauri Harvey Keagle, July 10, 2015