Need a Do-Over

So, yeah. I didn’t sleep well last night. And, I was abruptly woken up by the lovely sound of Alex vomiting in the hallway. At 4:30 am. I cleaned it up with TP, and since I was already out of bed, decided to go wee, like you do. Of course, Alex thought that was a smashing idea, so while I sat there, he took a dump in the litter box across the bathroom floor from where I sat.

Now, normally, our litter box scoops itself – one of those self-cleaning beauties. No, it’s not cheap, but it’s worth it to keep our finicky pisser of a cat, George, happy. He does not like a messy box, and if it’s not to his liking, will gladly avail himself of any unsuitable surface when the need to relieve himself arises. However, we are on manual scoop mode these days because George is in the Cone of Shame and can’t get in and out of the box with it on. It’s just the bare tray with crystal litter in our bathroom. Lovely.

Hi. I’m George. I am sporting the Cone of Shame because I’ve licked my scrotum raw, and thanks to my diabetes, it’s not healing quickly and I can’t even get the allergy shots to stop the itching (because they’ll mess with my glucose levels), so I will never stop licking it if I can reach it. I even had to get a longer cone because I managed to get around the first cone and my enormous belly. Also, much to mom’s chagrin, I purr every time she applies ointment to it.

Of course, this means I must stay on top of things in the pooper scooper department. So, as soon as I had flushed for myself, I scooped up Alex’s malodorous deposit. Something’s rotten in Denmark, but that will have to wait until we get other cat health issues under control. Yeah, so besides George’s scabby scrotum, we just found out he’s diabetic, and haven’t quite got his glucose down to where it needs to be. Good times.

Back to my morning. I finally got back to bed around 4:45, and may have almost fallen asleep, when I heard George scratching at the carpet. That can only mean one thing, so I leapt out of bed. Sure enough, he was peeing on the carpet in front of the vanity. Mother Hubbard! He’d dropped a stealthy duce, sometime after I scooped Alex’s, and since it was still there when he decided he had to pee, he couldn’t dare set foot in the box. And, let me say this – an unregulated diabetic cat pees A LOT. After a few choice words, I went downstairs to get a roll of paper towels and Nature’s Miracle (supposedly neutralizes the odor). I blotted up the pee puddle, soaked the carpet with Nature’s Miracle, washed up, and crawled back into bed… just in time for Hubs’ alarm to sound. FFS! I managed to sleepily warn him not to stand where the wet spot was, and I tried to drift off. Nope, that was not happening.

So, I did what anyone would do – I grabbed my phone to see what was going on in the world. Waiting in my inbox, there was an email informing me that the programming class that The Girl is supposed to take only has one student enrolled (her), so unless they get 4-5 more kids by the 7th, they’re not going to hold the class. Seriously?! She’s really looking forward to this. And, she’s been mental enough with the end of school (the only kid I know who does not want school to end), so this would be a massive blow that I do not want to have to handle. I put the word out on the Book of Face, fingers crossed that someone will sign up.

But wait – there’s more! Guess who had a tantrum about what to wear to school this morning? I’ll give you a hint: not me. I am hoping like mad that once the last day has come and gone, The Girl will settle down, otherwise it’s going to be a VERY long summer. Also, and I went to Tarjay and almost accidentally stole nail polish, except not only did I not have them ring it up, I left it in the cart inside the store, so I was going to have to return later to get said polish.

This day needed a massive turn around – seriously. When The Girl got home at 12:30 (it was a half day), we ate lunch, went BACK to Target, and then went to Sbux for some much needed Frappuccino therapy, followed by sloppy pedicures on our deck at home. Izzy, if you’re reading this, you’ll be happy to know that I could not stand how sweet the Frappuccino was. I couldn’t finish it. But, I did need more covfefe caffeine, so I added a k-cup worth to what was left. THAT was much better.

Tomorrow is the last (half) day of school. We’ve got all sorts of fun planned… we’re doing to the movies in the afternoon, then out to dinner (her choice), and I have a fun happy summer gift for her, to be detailed in a later post. Here’s hoping I can keep her happy enough to avoid a nuclear meltdown. Wish me luck!

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